


The Black Cat

by dark_as_leila



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A cat - Freeform, M/M, Roaming hands, Sort Of Fluff, amused erwin, bad language, jealous Levi, smooches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 08:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1933167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_as_leila/pseuds/dark_as_leila
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cat insinuates himself into Survey Corps headquarters and Erwin's lap.  Levi is not amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Black Cat

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah… this happened. I have written a fic that involves Levi being jealous of a cat. Jealous. Of a cat. This has happened. It's now a thing that exists… please forgive me.

Levi traversed the halls, just like every other day, and, just like every other day, he inspected every surface he laid his eyes on for dirt, dust and debris. He frowned as he saw more than he was comfortable with and made a mental note to schedule some cleaning in later. He made his way past the door that would lead to the courtyard outside and paused as he heard some sort of commotion. Opening the door, he peered across the space, seeing that a large number of cadets were huddled around something and talking eagerly. Great, a fight, Levi thought to himself as he squared his shoulders and stalked over to the group, ready to put an end to anything going on by kicking a few asses himself. As he approached the back line of the group (which was blocking his view of whatever action was happening; damn all these tall cadets to the pits of hell) some of the excited jabber became clearer to his ears, and he was pretty sure he heard the word ‘cute’ being bandied about. Curious.

He kicked the nearest cadet in the back of the knee to get his attention.

“Ow! What the hell do you -“ the cadet began angrily, whirling around before becoming mute, his eyes widening in horror. Levi simply quirked an eyebrow.

“What’s going on here?” He asked, giving the cadet his best glare.

“Ah, er, well… you see.. it’s like,” the cadet sputtered and Levi lost all patience.

“Just move, you stupid ass,” Levi said, making shooing gestures. Said cadet did and those in front, who had locked on to the dulcet tones of Captain Levi, shuffled aside to make a path.

Levi moved forward and was confronted with the source… which appeared to be another cadet, Armin Arlert he thought, hunched down on the floor.

“Arlert, what the actual fuck do you think you’re doing?” Levi questioned as he folded his arms and regarded the back of the blond head.

Armin’s face swivelled round to look at Levi, who was slightly taken aback by the wide smile he saw there, “Look, Sir,” he said, bouncing to his feet and taking a small step to the side, “it’s a cat!”

Levi looked down and saw a small black cat looking completely uninterested in the attention it was receiving.

“All this fuss is over a cat?” Levi was incredulous, “Just put the fucking thing outside the gates and be done with it.”

“We did,” another voice piped up, Mikasa, “he kept getting back in somehow.”

“We should keep him,” Armin said, eyes bright, “He can be the Survey Corps pet!”

Levi must have been pulling some kind of ‘are you shitting me?’ face as Armin followed this up with a weaker, “or a mascot…”

Levi rubbed his palms over his face, exhausted by the sheer level of stupid he was facing.

“We are not keeping the damn cat,” Levi explained slowly, as clearly these cadets were mentally sub par, “Cats are filthy, plus who would look after it?”

“We all would!” Armin said, clearly desperate.

“No,” Levi gritted out, “it would end up being me. And I am not your fucking mother, looking after your pet, and since I don’t care for the thing,” he said, pointing at the cat, who regarded him with cool indifference, “I am taking it outside.”

He bent and scooped up the small animal, which only meowed but raised no further protest. He stalked over to the main gates of headquarters and indicated the doors should be opened to the guards. 

“Stupid, shitty cat,” Levi told the cat, “Bag of germs, coming into my headquarters, who do you think you are?” The cat didn’t seem to be listening.

“Bastard,” Levi muttered as he made his way through the gates and walked a few steps down the road. He bent and released the cat, who promptly sat on his ass and stared at Levi.

Levi returned the cat’s stare with as much indifference as he could muster, before he marched back through the gates and they were closed firmly behind him. He made his way back over to the cadets.

“There, easy,” he said gesticulating slightly, “Now, if you have so much free time to be dicking around with animals that have wandered in here, I have plenty of chores for - what, Jaeger?” he barked as he noticed a hand in the air.

“Sir,” Eren said quietly, before pointing at something by Levi’s feet.

Levi looked down to see the black cat sat by his foot and looking at the group of cadets. Levi’s mouth dropped open.

“How in the hell?” he asked the cat, who looked up on him briefly before returning it’s attention to the group.

“I knew you were a bastard,” he said to the cat, who flicked an ear in reply. Levi picked the cat up and deposited it outside the gates again.

“Stay out,” he said to it firmly, before closing the gates. He stood there for a few minutes, surveying the gates and the surrounding walls for any sign of the menace, but there was none. He turned around to face the cadets again and saw that all of their attention was focused at his feet. He looked down. He saw cat.

Levi repeated the process of putting the cat outside a further five times, all of which proved to be unsuccessful, before he really lost his temper. 

“You piece of shit fleabag!” he screamed as he chased the cat around the courtyard, “You’re a witch or something,” he screeched at it, as it expertly dodged his grabs and swipes. After a few minutes Levi came to a stop, glaring at the cat as it also stopped running and sat on it’s ass again.

“Fine,” he hissed at the thing, “we’ll do this a different way, come here, you witch bastard,” he moved over to the cat, who eyed him warily, but allowed Levi to pick him up.

“This is a game to you isn’t it?” Levi accused; the cat narrowed it’s eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” Levi snapped at the clearly dumbfounded cadets.

“He’s got a screw loose,” Jean muttered and several of the group nodded their heads in agreement.

—

He hurried up the stairs with purpose before coming to the door he wanted and knocked with purpose.

“Come in,” a voice encouraged and Levi pushed the door open with his cat free-hand and stepped into the office.

Erwin looked up from his documents and smiled, ‘Levi, what a - why are you holding a cat?”

Levi made his way closer to the desk and glared at Erwin, “This cat is trespassing on Survey Corps head quarters and refuses to leave. Do something about it,” he growled, thrusting the cat forward slightly. The cat meowed in Erwin’s face.

“I - what?” Erwin asked, so caught of guard by what he had just heard. 

Levi rolled his eyes, “This cat,” he said, nudging the cat forward slightly more, “get rid of it.” The cat meowed again.

“Levi, I…” Erwin began so seriously confused by the situation and the severity with which Levi seemed to be treating it, “Just… put it outside the gates.” Erwin finished, flashing a clearly nonplussed look at his Captain.

“I did,” was the puzzling response, “this cat is a witch,” more puzzling still, “and he keeps getting back in. Now you deal with it.”

Erwin frowned at the cat and the cat blinked benignly back at him. He cocked his head to the side as he regarded the feline and said feline emulated the action, drawing a chuckle from the blond. Suddenly the cat squirmed in Levi’s arms, clearly wanting to be let loose, so Levi obliged. The cat dropped gracefully to the floor before eyeing Erwin’s desk and leaping up there. It picked it’s way over and around the papers before sitting right on the edge and staring at Erwin. The cat stared at Erwin and Erwin stared at the cat while Levi stared at them both.

“Hello,” Erwin said to the cat, drawing another eye roll from Levi and a meow from the cat. Erwin reached out a hand and stroked the cat’s head, rubbing behind one ear with his thumb, causing many purrs to emanate from the cat. Levi was displeased.

“Erwin, that cat’s filthy, don’t touch it,” Levi groused as Erwin looked up to regard his Captain, but didn’t stop petting the cat. Levi flapped his hands irritably in Erwin’s general direction, “Germs!” he finished.

Erwin pulled his hand away and Levi was momentarily relieved before the cat took the opportunity to leap lightly into Erwin’s lap and settle there. Erwin was unfazed, unlike Levi.

“Cat!” Levi screeched and the ears of the devil cat (as he had decided to call it) swivelled in his direction, but it didn’t look at him; the cheek, “Remove yourself, devil cat,” Levi said pointing at the offending feline in his commander’s lap. The cat merely lay down and closed his eyes. Levi made a slightly inhuman noise, that could only be described, Erwin explained later to Hanji (with the cat slumped around his shoulders), as a skree.

“Levi, it’s fine,” Erwin said, trying to make placating gestures with his hands, “I can work just fine with a small cat on my lap.” Levi’s fists closed and unclosed in a gesture of futile rage, “It’s not a big deal.”

Levi glared at the black lump on Erwin a few moments longer before hissing, “Fine,” and stalking out, slamming the door behind him.

Erwin shrugged, getting back to his work and ignoring the purring presence currently in residence on his legs.

—

For the next week, the cat was never far from Erwin’s side much to Levi’s increasing annoyance. This mostly meant that the cat could be located in Erwin’s office, but Levi found it’s presence distracting. Erwin had taken to calling it Diablo because “you call it devil cat, Levi”. Levi continued to call it devil cat. The cadets were all so happy that devil cat had become a resident of their barracks, though the cat would shun attention from pretty much everyone except the Commander.

Devil cat and Levi continued to not see eye to eye. The cat was ALWAYS in Erwin’s office. When Levi would enter the room, the cat would usually be curled up on the sofa, in the spot Levi himself usually chose to sat in; which was galling. As soon as he would shut the door, the cat would sit upright and stare at Levi, who would stare right back. The cat would then immediately remove itself from the sofa to go and sit in Erwin’s lap. This would rile Levi up even more, especially when Erwin’s hand would automatically drop to pet the goddamn thing, like it was natural. It was like the devil cat was staking it’s claim on Erwin and Levi did not care for it, though he wasn’t a hundred percent sure why it aggravated him so much.

—

It was just over a week since the cat bane of Levi’s life had insinuated itself into Erwin’s office, and Levi was sat on the sofa in said office, legs crossed, cup of tea clutched in one hand and glaring at the devil cat, who was, as usual, curled in Erwin’s lap. The cat was staring right back, eyes slitted whilst regarding the smaller man. Erwin looked up briefly and caught the stare off between human and feline. He made an exasperated noise in his throat before dropping his pen onto the documents he had been perusing.

“Levi,” he stated.

“Hmm?” Levi responded, never taking his eyes from the small bundle of black on Erwin’s lap.

“Why does the cat bother you so much?” he asked, a faint note of displeasure in his voice, “I swear, you’ve been half as productive as usual this week because you’ve been having glaring matches with a cat.”

“I don’t like the cat,” Levi said, eyes flicking briefly up to Erwin’s before returning to the feline in question.

“Yes, I realise that,” he responded, rubbing a hand over his tired face, “but why?”

“That cat sasses me,” was the bizarre response.

“He… sasses you?” Erwin all but whispered, “what on earth do you mean?”

“It is constantly giving me funny looks, it is always just there when I’m working and it stares at me to put me off, it is forever on the sofa in my spot and it is constantly on your lap, and distracting you from work, as you’re always pausing to pet the damn thing,” he hissed between his teeth, “plus it probably has fleas and diseases. Disgusting.”

Erwin stared at his Captain with complete bewilderment, “Honestly Levi, if I didn’t know any better, I would swear you were jealous of Diablo.”

This seemed to grab Levi’s full attention. He looked up at Erwin, eyes wide and his mouth opened slightly as he sucked in a shocked breath. Erwin watched with mounting interest as a blush crept it’s way up his subordinate’s neck and across his cheeks.

“I… you… wha.. pre- preposterous!” Levi spluttered, pushing himself far back on the sofa and forgetting he was holding a half full cup of tea, which he promptly spilt on himself, “ARGH! Shit! Bastard!” Levi screeched as the hot liquid seeped through his shirt and scalded him.

Erwin scooped the cat out of his lap and placed him on the desk, ignoring the plaintive meow as he hurried over to the couch where Levi was still cursing.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Erwin questioned, aggravated as he grabbed the cup from Levi and placed it on the floor. He placed a hand on Levi’s chest, where the tea had spilt and if anything Levi’s blushing increased.

“It’s your fault, idiot,” Levi grumbled, avoiding eye contact, “saying ridiculous things…”

Erwin regarded Levi for a few moments before his face split in a wicked grin, “You are jealous aren’t you?”

Levi refused to answer and merely settled for a mumbled, “Stop groping my chest, asshole.”

“That is so cute,” Erwin said and Levi snapped his head around to glare at his Commander.

“It is not cute,” he spat, “I am not cute, because it’s not true, stop making assumptions, dickhead.”

“It’s not good to lie to yourself, Levi,” Erwin said, feigning seriousness, “Or to me, I am your commander.”

“Commander Idiot, yeah,” Levi muttered.

Erwin stared at Levi with narrowed eyes for a few moments before slipping a finger between the buttons of the smaller man's shirt.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Levi all but screamed as Erwin employed his thumb and began undoing some buttons on the shirt. Levi shot a hand out and gripped Erwin's wrist in an iron vice, effectively stopping his undressing.

"I need to see how badly you've burnt yourself," Erwin said, fixing Levi with an unwavering stare.

"No you don't," Levi answered promptly, not releasing Erwin's wrist.

"I wasn't asking, Levi," Erwin said, eyes steely. Levi swallowed, struggling with his desire to obey and his desire to not allow Erwin to have his way.

"Tccht, fine, idiot," Levi said, averting his gaze, blush high on his cheeks as he released Erwin and allowed him to continue on his buttons. Erwin pushed the fabric aside and surveyed the damage.

"Hmm, not too bad," Erwin said, as he laid his hand on the reddened skin, "I don't think it will blister," he muttered as he noticed just how much chest one of his hands could cover on the smaller man.

Levi refused to look at Erwin, let alone acknowledge the steady, warm weight of his hand on his chest. He definitely didn't like the sensation, that was for sure. It was an imposition, that was why his heart was beating so fast, there was no other reason.

"Are you done fondling me, you pervert?" Levi snapped at the wall, still not making any eye contact.

Erwin took in the flustered expression on the other man's face and fought off the urge to laugh, "No."

"What do you mean, 'no'!?" Levi hissed whipping around to face the commander. This turned out to be a mistake, since Erwin's face was much closer to his own than he had been expecting. He took a sharp breath in surprise.

"Why are you jealous of the cat, Levi?" Erwin asked, blue eyes intense and focused, his hand still a warm presence on Levi's chest.

Levi's mouth was inexplicably dry, "I'm not," he managed to get out as he felt himself trapped by that gaze.

"Is it because you think I'm paying more attention to Diablo than you?" Erwin asked as he rubbed small circles on Levi's skin with his thumb.

"I.." Levi was slightly disturbed by the distraction that Erwin's thumb was causing to his train of thought, "Don't… be stupid. That's a dumbass thing to say." Levi spat, trying to inject a necessary amount of venom into his words, and failing. Erwin regarded him coolly.

"Besides, aren't you?" Levi practically demanded.

"Aren't I what?" Erwin asked, never ceasing the motion of his digit.

"Paying more attention to the devil cat than me."

Erwin took in the small pout, the blush and the evident embarrassment written all over his subordinate's face and decided there was simply only one course of action. He scooped a startled Levi into his arms and placed him in his lap, slipping his arms around his waist to make sure he stayed put.

"What the actual fuck!?" Levi exclaimed in surprise, squirming slightly in his new position, but enable to escape from the circle of Erwin's arms.

"Since the cat is always in my lap, I thought maybe you'd like to take that position instead," Erwin reasoned. 

Levi stared at Erwin, incredulous, before turning his face away, "You're a moron," he stated, crossing his arms over his still uncovered chest and glaring across the room at the devil cat, who had been watching his whole ordeal through judgmental eyes, or so he thought.

A soft breath on the back of his neck was the only warning he received before warm lips were placed there. He shivered as the sensation rushed down his spine.

"What are you doing, Erwin?" Levi asked, not liking the breathless quality of his voice one bit.

"I'm paying attention to you," Erwin answered, not removing his mouth as he spoke. He ran his fingers over the exposed skin of Levi's chest as he placed kisses along the back of his neck.

"I hope you weren't doing this to the cat," Levi said, voice unsteady.

Erwin laughed, "I most assuredly did not do this with the cat."

"Thank god," Levi said as he swivelled in Erwin's lap, lacing his arms around the other's neck before pressing his lips to Erwin's, kissing him soundly. Erwin returned the kiss with enthusiasm, delighting when Levi's fingers slipped into his hair and tugged gently.

"Pay attention to me," Levi mumbled against Erwin's mouth, "Only me."

"Understood," Erwin answered with a grin as he pressed Levi down into the sofa, covering him with his body before capturing his lips once more.

Diablo watched all of this from his position on Erwin's desk with disgust. He had been usurped as top cat by the smaller human and he did not care for it. He flicked his tail in irritation as he slinked from the room unnoticed, since the humans were busy grooming each other. And they were doing it wrong. Humans; weird.


End file.
